Carpe Dentum!

Remember that scene in Mrs. Doubtfire where her teeth fall into the glass and she uses the utensils to get them out? That's all I could think of today while I was at the dentist.

I didn't sleep much last night because I was freaking out so much. I got up a little before 5 this morning and made some tea, chopped an apple, dished out some cottage cheese, and ate a hard boiled egg. On the way to the dentist, I ate the apple. I knew it would be my last for a while. It took a little over an hour to get there. Even though I was there before they opened, the place was packed (it's a walk-on place). It was mostly old people. However, I was brought back quickly for an x ray, reseated, then brought back again to see the dentist. They went over what I wanted, took impressions, reviewed the costs, what to expect, blah blah blah. I paid at the front desk then waited in the even more packed waiting room for a little longer. Then it was go time - all 4 wisdom teeth and four in the lower front. So no need for any upper partial, cutting the cost quite a bit!

They numbed my gums with some sort of paste. I put my headphones in (My Chemical Romance is my medical procedure music, in case I do die, the Black Parade can escort me to wherever I belong) and the dentists got to work. Or, I thought they did. There was an awful lot of digging and pinching and pain and pressure. After that, I had to sit there, and lo and behold, my teeth hadn't even been removed yet!! I did get a terrible, terrible headache though. There's nothing like a numb lower face and the top of your head ready to explode. But then the dentists came in and removed the teeth and I will never confuse extraction prep and the actual extraction ever again! The uppers came out fairly easily but the lower wisdom teeth had curved roots and they were a bitch. I could hear the cracking over my music. I started shaking and crying, because I was past the point of no return, then they were done. They packed my mouth with gauze and gave me instructions. I asked about my front teeth, and the assistant said they don't remove those. What? All that and the biggest problem I had isn't even taken care of? Fortunately, it was a misunderstanding - I did have a mouthful, after all, but one would think dentists understand gauze-speak. They did remove the four in the front on the bottom and I never even noticed. They gave me an ice pack and it had a hole in it so my white Hooters shirt and new school sweatshirt got dirty.

So now I had 3 hours to kill and nowhere to really go. I couldn't go sit at Burger King or Hardees with my mouth all fucked up the way it was. I didn't want to drive an hour home and an hour back. So I sat in my car and read on my Kindle, turning the car on every so often for heat. I got up the courage to look at my mouth. It looked weird. Bloody and swollen and like a 2nd grader. I did take pictures but I don't think I will be sharing them any time soon.

Finally, the time came for me to go back and get my partial denture. It was a lot bulkier than I was expecting. It's made out of acrylic, but I hope to upgrade to the new flexible material when my gums heal and they give my my "real" denture. As soon as the technician put it in my mouth, I felt like I was going to pass out. I wasn't in any pain, but the foreignness of it overwhelmed me. The technician made some adjustments to the denture and the swelling was pretty significant and the partial doesn't sit perfectly on the gums just yet. That will take time, and I just have to get used to this being there. After a few minutes of lying back with my eyes closed, I felt better and figured I probably needed to eat. The dentist wasn't really comfortable with letting me drive home myself but I assured him I'd be okay. I ate the cottage cheese I brought and I really did feel better. I drove back to the beach, got my prescription filled, and came home. 

Once at home, I was getting that icky, gunky stuff one gets when a tooth is extracted and while I was trying to fish it out from the wisdom tooth site, I dislodged my partial. While trying to put that back in, I pushed that gunky crap from my gums right down my throat. Repeat on the other side, but fortunately I was able to wipe my gums off. It was incredibly difficult to hold down the denture and try to get my fingers & paper towel back far enough to clean that icky thing off. I can't really maneuver my tongue around just yet. I can't brush my teeth tonight. I can't drink anything really hot, or anything carbonated. I can't take out my denture or rinse my mouth or drink from a straw. None of that until 1 PM tomorrow. I can eat, but it's a challenge. Again, not because of pain, but because it's different. I'm have been working on this little bowl of oatmeal since before I started writing this post, and I'm only halfway through with the dish.

I am done with this post though. I hope to adjust to this quickly. I miss my food.